July 2009

Max’s Top 10 Hits

So, I’ve stated in previous posts that I don’t listen to children’s music…I just can’t do it. Lord knows I’ve tried, but I love music too much to listen to a chorus of not-my-children singing “Old MacDonald” over and over and over and over and over again. Instead, I’ve made it a point to crank the radio during a particularly awesome song, while I point out why said song is so awesome. After making a mixed CD of some of Max’s favorites, I am beginning to rethink my strategy. Here is a list of his top 10 Favorites:

1)Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas. A fun dance song that he refers to as ‘his’ song.

2)Right Round by Flo Rida. Another fun song, but I have a sinking suspicion it’s not about dancing at all…

3)I Know You Want Me(Calle Ocho) by Pitbull. At least that’s mostly in Spanish, so neither me nor Max know the vulgar, Spanish things coming out of his mouth.

4)Dead and Gone by T.I. featuring JT. At least Max doesn’t understand what T.I. is talking about when he raps about driveby shooting retaliation, but neither do the millions of other white dudes who’ve propelled this song to the top of the charts, yet THEY still love it too.

5)Poker Face by Lady GaGa. Ummm, I think he might be gay…

6)My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson. It’s probably not a good idea to condone a four year old shouting “SUCK” at the top of his lungs.

7)Don’t Trust Me by 3OH!3. The only part he likes is, “Shush girl, shut yo lips. DOOO the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips.” Oh come on, that doesn’t even make sense!

8)Halo by Beyonce. Oh thank God something normal. Except he loves the high-noted runs the best…again, back to the gay question mark(Not that there’s anything WRONG with that).

9)Clumsy by Fergie. There is entirely too much Fergie on this list. Unacceptable Max…un-ac-ceptable.

10)Blame It by Jamie Foxx. Oh crap, I’m a terrible mother.

The Walgreens Lady

We were in Walgreens yesterday to pick up a few things. Max loves Walgreens. Everytime we go, he loves wandering the isles and directing me as to which isle we should head down next. Yesterday, he was particularly “excited” to be there-demonstrated by the bouncing, chattering skipping and fondling of various items. You know, typical boy stuff. We proceeded to the check-out where an older, pink haired lady awaited with a look of pure dread…almost like I was rolling a dead, mangled body in my shopping cart. The following conversation ensued:

Max-LookMommy!MOOMMMEEEYYYlookatthecandycanIhavesomecandy? OooohhhhhlookMommywhat’sthatcanIhaveoneofthosetooMOOMMMEEEYYY!(Notice these should probably be sentences, but they come out as one, long word when Max gets in the zone).

Me-No Max, you don’t need any candy. No you can’t have that. Please come over here, I can’t see you.

Kate-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!

Me-Good grief Katie, I…

Max-MOOMMMEEEYYYlookatmeI’mcrawlinglikeasnakeooohhhI’mafrognow…

Lady-My. Um. He sure is busy isn’t he?

Me-Yes, they’re BOTH busy. Heh, heh.

Lady-You’ve certainly got your hands full.

Me-(Courteous laugh) I sure do.

Katie-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Lady-(Pausing for the ringing in her ears to stop) I don’t think I could do it.

Me-(Courteous, strained laugh)

Lady-I mean, they would drive me crazy.

Me-(Waiting for the “But they sure are cute” qualifier)

Lady-They’re just SO loud….Ya know?

Me-Not as loud as your 57 cats you old spinster windbag….

Well, that last bit was only in my head, but it’s what I ALMOST said had Max not run out the front doors pushing a shopping cart and screaming, “Lookit’sarollercoster!” Oy.