Blogger Mommy

What happened to my sweet, adorable, cherubic, doll of a baby daughter? One minute she’s looking at me with adoringly sweet eyes and the next she’s shouting at the top of her lungs because I’m not shoveling the bananas in her mouth fast enough! It’s not just the food she’s become demanding about. It’s food, changing her diaper, getting dressed, getting undressed, wiping her face, bathing and generally anything that requires me inconveniencing her in any way. I KNOW she’s taking pointers from the 3 year old, how could she not? She’s even starting to yell like him when she wants something. There’s a conspiracy going on here and I’m determined to flush it out damnit. I know that he schools her on the intricatcies of “pushing mom’s buttons 101″ when I’m not looking. I imagine the conversation goes something like this:

Max-You know….you don’t have to just wait for her to get the food ready. When you yell, she actually moves faster.
Kate-Really? But isn’t that manipulative? I mean, she works so hard already, so why don’t we just cut her some slack huh?
Max-HAHA! Oh, you have so much to learn young grasshopper. Luckily I’M here so let’s start with the food….no, it’s not manipulative, because you’ve gotta eat right?
Kate-I guess so
Max-Okay. So watch this, “Mommy! I said I wanted RICE KRISPIE TREEEEEAAAATSS! Rice Krispie Treats, Rice Krispie Treats, Rice Krispie Treats, Rice Krispie Treats, Rice Krispie Treats…Fank you”
(No really, my son ACTUALLY says Fank You….the cunning vowel change isn’t too far off now.)
Kate-Wow. Let me try…AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Hey, you’re right. She DOES move faster.
Max-Oh Kate….there are so many things to teach you and so little time. Next up, kicking her in the ovaries during the diaper change. I was told that it would prevent more babies, maybe you’ll have better luck.