I am the smarterest person in the room.

My three year old has three towels that he HAS to use; a monkey, frog and dog. They were gifts from my baby shower while I was pregnant with him. They are those cutsie, hooded bath towels that look so adorable in the store, and even MORE adorable when they’re wrapped around a chubby faced 9 month old. Well, my son is three now, so you can imagine what those cutsie, animal towels look like now…but I digress. I washed all three the other day and, while Max was in the bathtub, I hung the frog and the monkey from the bathroom door(in plain sight of my little angel), and folded the dog towel and stored it under the sink(out of his sight). I asked Max, “What do you want to be tonight? A frog or monkey?” His eyes darted to the door. I could see his little eyes jump back and forth between the frog and monkey hanging….I could hear the wheels turning in his head. Then he smiled that devilish little grin that you mothers of “spirited” children know so well. He looked at me with a Cheshire cat grin, and I knew EXACTLY what was coming. “I want to be a doggie…HAHAHAHAHA!” Which translated roughly means, “I want to be the animal that you DON’T have readily available. Now run off, head hung low with defeat, and get me the animal towel that I so desire or I’m gonna make you sorry you chose to sit on your lazy ass all day instead of doing the laundry, including ALL of my towels. Off you go mother. Off. You. Go.” I watched as my adorable little angel laughed at my perceived incompetence, but little did HE know….I was one step ahead. I sweetly looked at him and said, “Well, you’re in luck Max. Because I happen to have the doggie one right here,” and I reached behind me and produced the folded dog towel. He was stunned. Shocked beyond words and that mischievous grin on his face froze, and then slowly faded as he realized he had been had. But, he was not going to go down without a fight and proceeded to scream, “NO! I WANT TO BE A FROGGIE!!!” So I sweetly and politely reached for the frog towel. “NO! I WANT TO BE A…A….ummmm…I DON’T WANT ANY ANIMALS!!!!” I applaud his last ditch effort to obtain some sort of control over the situation, but, yet again, I reached behind me and produced a yellow non-animal towel. He didn’t say it, but I could tell….defeat. He slowly stood up and humbly asked for the dog towel. It doesn’t happen very often, but that day….at that moment….I WAS the smarterest person in the room. You can’t play a playa sucka!


  1. Stacy

    LMAO! You’re a genius. I can just see the whole event and I can’t stop laughing.

  2. April

    LOL; it’s so great that your family is full of expressions!

  3. Jenny (Roberts) McClain

    You are freakin’ hysterical. You know, I see a book of mommy vignettes in your future….

  4. Kimbo

    hahaha…typical max…

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