The Walgreens Lady

We were in Walgreens yesterday to pick up a few things. Max loves Walgreens. Everytime we go, he loves wandering the isles and directing me as to which isle we should head down next. Yesterday, he was particularly “excited” to be there-demonstrated by the bouncing, chattering skipping and fondling of various items. You know, typical boy stuff. We proceeded to the check-out where an older, pink haired lady awaited with a look of pure dread…almost like I was rolling a dead, mangled body in my shopping cart. The following conversation ensued:

Max-LookMommy!MOOMMMEEEYYYlookatthecandycanIhavesomecandy? OooohhhhhlookMommywhat’sthatcanIhaveoneofthosetooMOOMMMEEEYYY!(Notice these should probably be sentences, but they come out as one, long word when Max gets in the zone).

Me-No Max, you don’t need any candy. No you can’t have that. Please come over here, I can’t see you.

Kate-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!

Me-Good grief Katie, I…

Max-MOOMMMEEEYYYlookatmeI’mcrawlinglikeasnakeooohhhI’mafrognow…

Lady-My. Um. He sure is busy isn’t he?

Me-Yes, they’re BOTH busy. Heh, heh.

Lady-You’ve certainly got your hands full.

Me-(Courteous laugh) I sure do.

Katie-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Lady-(Pausing for the ringing in her ears to stop) I don’t think I could do it.

Me-(Courteous, strained laugh)

Lady-I mean, they would drive me crazy.

Me-(Waiting for the “But they sure are cute” qualifier)

Lady-They’re just SO loud….Ya know?

Me-Not as loud as your 57 cats you old spinster windbag….

Well, that last bit was only in my head, but it’s what I ALMOST said had Max not run out the front doors pushing a shopping cart and screaming, “Lookit’sarollercoster!” Oy.

3 Comments

  1. Carolyn

    love it…love the comment “busy” , love as if the little lady had never seen kids before…..love the thoughts in your head!

  2. BigRed

    I really wish you had said that out loud to her. OR you could have said that they aren’t as loud “as the sands of time quickly flowing out of her dried up, useless uterus.”
    Would that have been cruel?
    Hmmmm….

  3. admin

    Damn Stacey….yo too cold! HAHA! I should have said something! Stupid old lady.

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